Deciding My Own Fate

Drawing of Life

               Drawing of Life

When i was just a kid
I started drawing images
Of what i aspire to be.

To be certain of what i am destined
And not juggling options,
Playing poker,
coz i thought it would be cool
to decide well in advance,
My own future.

I thought i would be a soldier
so i draw on paper, The Warfare
Then i wanted to be doctor,
To heal the wounds of war
Once i draw a judge,
To give justice to the right
And one day i thought
I could be butcher.

Sometimes i draw myself as a richer
driving long cars, visiting daily bars.
Sometimes i toss, to decide what i want
Sometimes in draw a farmer
Nurturing trees, feeding plants

Now i am old,
Still drawing.
Of what i want to be.

“Wish i would have realised,
i was destined to be a painter.”

I miss myself so much

A sleepless night punkromance
Sometimes i wake up at night
And look at myself
In the mirror
The dark eyes vouches
For my sleepless ness
And then i shake myself,
Give a hard stir
Its when the tears roll,
Numbness in every breath,
Dead touch
thats the time,
I miss myself,
I miss myself so much.

Because that when i realize,
I am not looking “AT” myself,
Its “ME” thats what i am looking for
In the mirror.

Can my path become my destination!!

Body feed so many lice, eating into the meat, sucking blood. I know they are hurting me, but i just don’t feel it. Its the thoughts which are running into my mind. yes i feel them, but what can i do, for i have no control over them.The dilemma of what happened and what would happen, was it wrong and would it be wrong again. Life pass by, wandering around this and wondering the cause of our being. I have changed the pathways, but the destination is still an illusion. No one can accompany you, it is your journey. It is a fact we all accept, but this heart, yet again , it looks out for that someone, who could come and the journey becomes the destination, all over again.